Did you know that 1 in 10 American teenagers secretly injure themselves and 80% of those are girls? Why is this? Why are we living in a nation that has so many problems with our youth? What have we done to promote so much depression and despair? As a father it is my job to protect my family and to provide them with every opportunity to succeed. Hey men, dads, have we forgotten this? Have we forgotten our roles as men? The mans role is to lead, to provide, to protect, to train, and to love their families. I’m not saying that women can’t do theses things too, I’m just saying that as a man I am responsible for the welfare of my family in every way.
According to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield Missouri:
50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages end in divorce and 73% of third time marriages end in divorce. There are other polls that show anywhere from 41% to 50% of first time marriages in America, ending in divorce.
WHY IS THIS? How is it that we have allowed society to sell us a big bag of lies, that says “if you don’t like it, get a new one”? Isn’t that what we do, if things are hard or if they don’t end up the way we think they should then we just quit and move on to the next thing. What ever happened to working through our hard times, persevering? WAKE UP American parents! Our children need us to make good choices, because they are trying to deal with our mess on their own.
One of the ways that our children deal with pain is to cut themselves. Cutting has been around for many years now, it is a practice that is very popular with youth between the ages of 11 and 26. Cutting is when a person uses a sharp object to make small cuts in their arms or other body parts. The arms are the most popular area because they can easily cut them and they can easily cover them from view. The act of cutting is usually accompanied by depression. People use cutting just like addicts use drugs or alcohol. It’s a way to release pain and stress. I see students all the time with covered arms or scarred arms. You see, these young people are dealing with all of our stuff, they are screaming out for our attention, our love our care. They need their moms and dads affection and assurance. In some cases cutting is an early sign of suicidal tendencies.
Signs of Cutting:
Withdrawal from family
Isolation
Always wearing long sleeves
Not allowing you to see their arms
Outbursts of anger or rage
Young people aren’t equipped to deal with divorce, and unstable relationships, they aren’t equipped to deal with abusive parents or selfish parents. If our children can’t turn to us for help, who will they turn to? In most cases they turn to other young people or to people who will give them the attention that they desire and need.
Please don’t think that I am saying that unstable parenting is the only cause of cutting. Our children can have the best parents in the world, parents that show them love, attention, affection and provide them with all the things to be successful in life. Parents that have a great relationship and a very strong marriage, and still they can get caught up in cutting. It could be the effect of a relationship at school, or a mental disorder. There are a lot of things that can cause a youth to cut, but we as parents need to recognize the signs.
As parents we are responsible to provide our children with love, attention, discipline that leads to healthy growth and emotional stability. We aren’t always gonna make the right choice because none of us are perfect, but we need to consider our actions before we do them. I’m not saying that you will never go through a divorce, or that you won’t have kids out-of-wedlock, I’m just saying be responsible when making choices that will affect your children, they deserve our best.
Helpful Tips:
Ask your child how they are and really listen to their answer
Spend time with your children
Find a common interest
Seek council of a professional that deals with cutting
Be open and honest with your children
Personal Note:
I have devoted my life to Jesus Christ and I have found that as I allow Him to lead me, the choices I make get better and better. Hey parents you’re not alone, there are plenty of good resources out there to help you raise your kids. And remember that Jesus loves you and He wants to help you in every area of your life, give Him a chance today.
Resources